Wait... Am I the Pattern?

We talk a lot about the patterns we attract—the emotionally unavailable, the inconsistent, the ones who can’t love us the way we need. But in this episode, I ask a harder, quieter question: What if I’m not just drawn to a pattern… what if I’m part of one too? 

In this deeply honest conversation, I unpack the ways I’ve shown up in relationships thinking I was offering emotional depth—when in truth, I was swimming in someone else’s waters while never inviting them into mine. I explore the subtle emotional avoidance hidden behind “being the healer,” the trap of curating connection, and how that performance of strength and usefulness can actually keep us from being truly known. 

This one isn’t about shame—it’s about self-honesty. It’s about the brave moment when you realize: "I can’t keep asking people to meet me halfway if I keep crossing the whole damn bridge by myself.” 

Includes a prose poem titled “I Saw a Man in Need,” written and performed by me as a personal reflection on this very truth.

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